hallucination

Saw a really weird dream....have tried to describe as best as possible.



Trying to figure out how to remove the mist.
Has loomed up suddenly grey,thick and fast.
Covering up from all the sides. The vision's getting blurry now.
Slowly fading away into the greyness of the memories. It's cold.
Shivering. Wave my arms wildly and take some steps forward.
Intuition prompts a rope hanging from nowhere.
Franctically try to get hold of it.
Stumble over a rock.
Start crawling because that makes more sense.
Tired and sleepy but continue.
Someone feels up.Another screams.
Try to find them.The cold silence descends again.
Finally got hold of the rope.Slimy n slippery.
Hands are slipping away but still continue to hold on.
Suddenly it hurts.Searingly painful.Let go.Realize too late.
Mist disappears.
Falling off a cliff
Into the dark abyss.Fall fast.Too fast.Bright colours.Too bright.Try to shield my eyes from the blur.black..pink..ochre..violet..chrome..orange..finally ........................green
feels very light now.continue to fall
And land with a thud on the dusty mirror. Shatters to pieces.All that remains is the fragmented pieces of memories all over the floor.

idle muse

Finally i managed to persuade my warden dat i was indeed very ill and needed to escape from the sicko place.Relieved and ecstatic off i went to meet my cousin in Dehra.Wit

so off i went to meet ma cousin in dehra.wid some struggle we managed to get leave frm his school but dats another story.

nw dehra has always been one of ma favourite places but i harbour a profound dislike for da so called elite IMA. da training dose unfortunate cadets undergo......well gives me da creeps even wen i think abt it. call dat ma feminine syd at its height....day-night,sunshine-rain,hail-snow dose poor guys endure all kinds of rigorous training(acc to me it's all imaginable kinds of torture).

loiterin around we passed some cadets undergoing der training.1 officer was hollering abt instructions fr god knows wat.1 unlucky soul happened to glance at us...n dat was da end fr him.

in da blistering cold he was asked to remove his woolens in his case just a jersey......da cold wind hit him leaving goosebumps red n blue all ova his bare flesh.we cud see him running from one side of da field to da other carrying enormous sacks filled wid god knows wat.

we fled from da place before we wud cause oder misfortunes.acc to my cousin dat builds emotional stability.....n acc to me dat makes him pervert lyk most of our soldiers are.

dis incident really set me to thinking dat do dese rigorous training n stuff supposed to build a person mentally,physically,emotionally n all oder shit manage to do so?????
i couldn't find a positive answer.
snug in ma bed at night i cud hear fire shots....i told ma cousin dat dey were toiling so hard to kill somebody....to be deliberately inhumane.

My cousin snapped back irritably dat he wud never join da army to shut ma mouth.

foggy memories

Winters!!!!! now that it has finally come. it has brought the same dread that is synonymous with it. how it reminds me of home. those frozen days.......and even more frozen nites......da huge bonfires we used to make.......da smell of da roasted potatoes in da fire....children with red cheeks and forever dripping gooey nose.....women with shawls wrapped tightly against themselves battling with the wind to walk straight......dose foggy days wen u were caught in a mystery land....and dose cosy coffee shops with everflowing customers.....da horrible looking goosebumps on the skin while bathing....and the warm and soft bed that woulds get wet with leaking hotwater bags.......da innumerable momos we used to devour and scald our mouths.......da sweet tea dat i used to steal frm aji.....da way we used to climb hills....chase dogs and pluck berries......da way we used to walk hand in hand....warm yours....cold mine.....da dreadful fog where i pushed you n u never came back again...i wanted you to get lost but not forever.....n i stil wait for you every winter but u r gone forever!!!!!!

freedom!!!!!

no look of concern
no word of reproach

no chains of bondage

desire in eyes
ambition in heart

strive for da stars
oh so high

aspired frredom
granted freedom

fly fast n far

lonely is da journey
something's gone amiss

tired and strained
but der's pride involved hea

look for someone
but none so near

heart grows cold
n nothing is warm hea

want to get down
dun desire dis freedom

want to rest forever now

on something warm

n something tender......

blah again!!!!!

da hungry eyes of da child stare at me
speaks no word yet i can see
da burden of sorrow he is made to carry

da tremble in a voice filled wid fear
da crying of da doomed
all reach ma ears

i can feel da pain of tears
da hate for humanity
dat a man bears
but der's none
to see dem
to hear dem
to feel dem
none to heal dem.....

blah

on and on

the voices continued screaming

till they drowned

the sound of my own breathing

bound and gagged in some

dark corner of my mind

what lay behind me

and the miles that r yet to be covered

can i ever come out

untouched out this

can i ever not be touched by anything at all

or will i some day just wilt and be strewn apart just like you !!!!